This is it! 

You've come to the right place. 

Stop looking. 

This here, is 

THE BEST BRUSSELS SPROUTS RECIPE IN THE WORLD!!

LOL. sorry. I must have been channeling my inner infomercial guy.

but they really are super tasty...

The Ingredients.

serves 6

1 pound brussels sprouts

3 tablespoons butter

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard (ooh la la, fancy)

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 cup water

The Directions.

Use a 2-quart slow cooker. Wash and trim the ends off of each Brussels sprout, and cut in half. Toss into the cooker. Add butter, mustard, salt, pepper, and water. Cover and cook on low for 4 to 5 hours, or on high for 2 to 3. Stir well to distribute the sauce before serving. The sprouts on the edge get brown and bit crispy on the outer edge. This is a good, and not something to worry about!

The Verdict.

My newly-turned-nine-year-old's favorite food is brussels sprouts. And artichokes. She has learned (sadly, through peer pressure) to no longer give this as an answer when asked what her favorite food is because many, many people dislike these little guys.

If you're on the fence about brussels sprouts, I urge you to try them prepared like this. The Dijon gives a fantastic savory taste and is really quite wonderful.

and hey. At least they aren't beets... 

bwahahahahahaaaaa!!!